Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
