Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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