so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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