Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize