they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
