god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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