I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he puts the penis in happiness.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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