I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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