What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
im holly from the hills drunk
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
