I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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