I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize