I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
