i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
