Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize
