That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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