That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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