Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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