Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
