He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
of course. lets lasso hookers.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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