May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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