if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
