Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
