I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
