So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
