Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
