with your own penis?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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