you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
