We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being clichรฉ.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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