Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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