and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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