You work out of a Hotel?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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