Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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