Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i dont even know how to be here
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Vodka?
Forever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
