she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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