i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
