Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
