I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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