Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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