omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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