my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
