Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
