The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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