a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
