So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
