I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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