no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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