sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
