Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize