as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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