weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.