$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
