Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"