trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dating After Heartbreak
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?