Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.