if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY