Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich

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(813): View more from Florida

I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters

(1-813): View more from Florida

What is a male extremity?

(813): View more from Florida

i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex

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(504): View more from Louisiana

once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(806): View more from Texas

All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.

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(801): View more from Utah

He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.

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