i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
