lets start a swedish sibling band together
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
