my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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