WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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