what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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