My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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