The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Alive.
So much puke
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
