Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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