This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
