what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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