Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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