dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
